I sleep too much.
Stay up way too late.
Days blend into one another.
I'd rather not change my routine either.
I like this way of living.
I like sleeping my days away.
And I like staying up all night.

This is all random bullshit but, I don't care.
I know of one person who'll see this.
I've seen the new subscription.

I guess that old cliche is true.
"Lesbians bring a U-Haul on the second date"
Or however it goes.......
All I know is, I feel myself turning my back on something real because she coming off a bit too strong and I don't think I can handle it anymore.

Too much, too soon.
And it seems to be getting worse now that we've broken up.
I know I'm at fault here too.
For giving hope.
Not in the least bit false but, still giving hope.
Giving fuel for her fire to burn stronger and stronger.

Its time for me to take a few steps back.
Before things reach the point of no return.
Or is it too late to save her sanity....?

There's a few things in my life that I MUST do before my time comes, to put it nicely.

1. Take a trip to Ohio. With or without a certain band in my life still.
2. Find my "Gerry." (Its a reference to PS I Love You. Don't ask...)
3. Do something that makes me proud of myself.
4. See Andrew McMahon in the flesh.

And, as you can probably guess, I can now cross one of those off my list.
Andrew was mere steps away from me yesterday and all I really had to do was call his name and I'm sure he could have heard me through the rain. But, I didn't.
Which means I never got to tell him my story. I never got to thank him for what he did two years ago. For Brad. For everyone who knew and loved Brad. He gave Brad HOPE.

Anyway, long story short about yesterday (since it wasn't TOO good of a day.)
It rained. A lot.
I saw Jack's Mannequin in person and on stage.
I sung along with Andrew and I saw him smile.
It rained, a lot.


That's about it.

So, I'm going to do it.
Tonight.
Gonna lay it all on the line.
Tell her that its either "us" or nothing.
I can't take anymore of this uncertainty.
I just won't go through this again.

Wish me luck, world.
I'm gonna need it.